Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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