The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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