Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
