used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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