Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
