Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
her vagine was all disorganized.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
