i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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