Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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