I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
