mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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