Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you never un-have a 4some
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
