Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
