we made out on top of his cat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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