i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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