I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
