I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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