While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
