There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
