ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize