You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
