we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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