You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
