I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize