The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
