So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
