You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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