Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize