her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
