he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
