still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
