ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
