is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
