there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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