marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
high people should be assigned attendants
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just gift wrapped bread.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
