no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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