Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize