I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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