it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
