you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
