He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
