Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize