He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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