Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
