a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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