Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

come over

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.

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(757): View more from Virginia

i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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(713): View more from Texas

Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?

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(360): View more from Washington

i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical

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(817): View more from Texas

I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?

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