Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
