I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
