Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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