If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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