so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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