Only a mothe r could love this liver
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
