I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
