Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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