I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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