I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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