you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
