He is such a slut. More and more my type.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
