i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
