How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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