you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
