I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
