well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
