I just made out with a guy for $7.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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