we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
