So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
