Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
