Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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