I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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