dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
