haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
