A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
