I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
