i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
