It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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