I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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